The Bones of Who We Are: Gratitude

It has been a week since The Bones of Who We Are released. A gorgeous week filled with support for Gabe and his story. I am so very grateful. I remember when I got to that point I was ready to share the story, how terrifying it was because I knew I’d taken a risk with his story, but with the wonderful and supportive feedback, I am so ecstatic.

John Green said in a Crash Course about Literature that when an author lets go of the story and gives it over to the audience, it ceases being the author’s story and becomes the readers’. I love this. So, I’d like to share some of the impressions Gabe’s story in THE BONES OF WHO WE ARE has provided to readers.

“... the words were magic, each line so delicately put like a song you wanted to continue singing... the author sends you spiraling inside [Gabe’s] brain and his story ... and each step of the way, you become [his] cheerleader...”

— Sophie Fahy, author

“...it is rare to find a novel, a character that resembles oneself - at least for me - it was as if I was looking into a mirror... CL Walters talent for capturing, conjuring the essence of her characters is remarkable... [She] is a talent that you do not want to miss.”

— W. Scott Brown, author

“I became a fast fan of CL Walters after reading Swimming Sideways and The Ugly Truth. The Bones of Who We Are is a brilliant conclusion to the Cantos Chronicles YA Book Series.””

— Janine Caroline, author

“Have to warn you, have tissues next to you while you read. You’ll need them.”

— Mike Walters, author

“The aspect that makes these books so good is that the themes, conflicts, and internal battles are deeply relatable...”

— Sammi, a reader

“Walters tackles heavy, important issues like Mental health and Racism with grace and tact - with a responsibility to the story without losing her voice. Beautifully paced, she drew me in but kept me guessing as the story moved to a breathless conclusion... This is a story everyone needs to read.”

— Bethany, reader

Thank you so much to all of the readers who have read Gabe’s story. I am so deeply humbled and grateful for your willingness to take a chance on Swimming Sideways, The Ugly Truth and now, The Bones of Who We Are. Please continue to share your experience with me, with others. I believe in these stories, and it is so wonderful that you do too.

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The Bones of Who We Are: It's time.

It’s here! Tomorrow - Tuesday - October 1, 2019, The Bones of Who We Are is out. It’s been an arduous (thought fulfilling) adventure, and I couldn’t be more excited and proud of this story. I can’t wait to hear what you think of Gabe’s journey, so be sure to post a review to Amazon, share it on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. I’m looking forward to it.

“[This story is] emotional and thought provoking. We all need a hand in finding the beauty within.”

— Advance Reader

Buy here.

“Martha and Dale . . .they smile laughing and dancing to music only they can hear. I’m at the dining table watching them and for a split second, I allow myself to think about a future I’ve never considered before...”

— Gabe, The Bones of Who We Are

The Bones of Who We Are: A Difficult Story

My father - my rock - passed away in October 2017. I miss him everyday. I didn’t think I would ever find the words to write again. When I tried, all that made it to the page were visceral and painful images of where I was stuck: my cave. About six months later, I was sitting at a traffic light and heard Abby say “I need you to write my story.” The pilot light was relit, and I found my way through a new draft of SWIMMING SIDEWAYS. 

The summer of 2018, with SWIMMING SIDEWAYS and THE UGLY TRUTH drafted, I went home to Oregon for a month to help my mom and sister go through my father’s things. Most of the month was spent broken-hearted, trudging through necessary spaces. I cleaned the garage breathing in my father’s work space and going through each of his tools. This was something my mother wasn’t going to be able to do. My dad and his workshop were symbiotic; he could fix anything, and his workshop reflected this. So, immersion in his workshop, going through each of his toolboxes and trinkets, the jars of things he saved because they’d come in handy one day, cracked me open. Somehow, in the breaking of my heart and the diligent reorganization of his things, I was able to assemble the broken parts of myself back together. It was during this four weeks in Oregon that I began drafting Gabe’s story, and as I stitched myself back together, Gabe’s began to unravel.

I’ve warned readers that Gabe’s story isn’t an easy story to experience, and that is because THE BONES OF WHO WE ARE deals with heavy topics: bullying, depression, identity, loss, grief. Maybe in a way, the loss of my father is reflected in the pain of Gabe. My pain became his, though Gabe’s story was always this, I just couldn’t write it before. The pivotal scene in the book - the reason Gabe is who he is - was written back in 2009, eight years before I lost my father; nine years before I went through his workshop and faced my own undoing. 

Perhaps, I was never going to be equipped to tell Gabe’s story without understanding the complete loss of someone so essential to my own identity. Perhaps, sitting inside my father’s workshop by myself allowed me to grasp loss, life, and grief in a way I never would have without that struggle. As writers our life experiences impact the depth of our knowledge. Virginia Woolf wrote, “Every secret of a writer’s soul, every experience of his life, every quality of his mind is written large in his works.” So, I suppose by realizing how painful it was to look at my father’s empty steel-toed work boots and be slammed with the awareness of how much I missed him, it forced me to jump into the deep end of loss. When the only thing I could do was climb into bed and bury myself in romance novels because those stories were as much as I could handle to not sink and drown, I found a way to tread water. Perhaps, this trial was the only way I was ever going to be able to empathize with Gabe’s experience. 

THE BONES OF WHO WE ARE isn’t an easy story, but then life, love, loss, grief never are. That is the truth of what it means to be human. We hurt, but there is power in the warmth of hope. That - the hope - is what my father would have loved about Gabe’s story.

Release date: October 1, 2019; Kindle Pre-orders available at Amazon.

NEXT WEEK: A Letter from Gabe to readers

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The Bones of Who We Are: Journey to Gabe

When Gabe became a character in my mind, he started as a fallen angel. There was something magical and beautiful about him in those first drafts of the original paranormal story. He was the blameless sacrifice - the Christ figure - idealized in all his beauty and glory. Then in 2009, I was teaching a class on creativity and in our daily pages, I wrote a heartbreaking scene that I couldn’t shake. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that the character was Gabe as a child, and it shattered the paranormal drafts of the work-in-progress at the time. Nothing already drafted could stand if I used the scene. What the heck was I supposed to do with that, I wondered. 

So the scene sat in my head as an unresolved issue with Gabe’s character. I put the manuscript - two years and nine drafts completed - away (partially because of this unresolved issue, but mostly because a wave of fallen angel stories broke in 2009 and 2010).

In 2015, Seth - the loudest of the three characters - who’d been dragged into hell at the end of the first paranormal story, began nagging me about having left him there. I pulled the story out again. I was teaching Homer’s Odyssey and the Hero’s Journey to my freshman at the time, and decided to plot Seth’s story using Chris Volgler’s work, and suddenly something clicked. The story was there, but I believed it to be a stand alone novel assuming Abby and Gabe were just secondary characters. So, I finished THE UGLY TRUTH in 2016; I was never happy with its ending. My family and friends enjoyed it (or pretended to), but I couldn’t get the nagging feeling out of my head and heart that the ending was all wrong. 

So, it sat for another two years.

Then in March of 2018, I was sitting at a traffic light, waiting, and I heard Abby say in my head, “I need you to finish my story.” In that moment, it dawned on me that all three of them needed their own story. Abby. Seth. Gabe. With Seth’s already done, I went back to the original paranormal manuscript to see if there was anything salvageable for Abby and Gabe. With a ton of cutting, rewriting, and creating new content, Abby’s story, SWIMMING SIDEWAYS, came together, but like Seth’s narrative, I struggled with the ending. I couldn’t figure out how it was supposed to connect until it dawned on me: Abby’s story was first and both she and Seth’s stories were necessary in order to tell Gabe’s. Like finding the last pieces of a puzzle being put into place, I understood the whole story in three parts. The entire series had been moving toward the culmination of Gabe’s narrative all along. 

That quiet, painful scene I wrote back in 2009, suddenly made sense, and served as the cornerstone around which Gabe’s entire story is built. 

The aesthetic I made for Gabe’s story.

Next week: the difficulty of writing Gabe’s story .

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